As my weekly challenge came to a
close on Day Five, I was optimistic about remembering to stay present in the
moment by sitting in the seat of self. And
boy was I tested early Friday morning.
After breakfast, stress rose when
Brandon and I did a quick scan over our mega First Birthday List. We still had many things to get done before
Kennedy’s party on Sunday with only two days left to complete everything. Thankfully, my husband is incredibly
supportive, and he was eager to help me out. As soon as we loaded the kids in the van to
make a mad dash to Sam’s Club, he handed me the keys and said, “I think you
should drive. You need to go to your
happy place.” He’s a big joker, so I
gave him a sarcastic smile because I knew he was just trying to get out of
driving on the first day of an army holiday weekend in lieu of Columbus Day (typically bad traffic). But I
also knew that he was half-sincerely helping me clear my head so that my
tension would reduce. As soon as we
pulled out of the driveway little miss birthday girl began her screaming.
I should pause here to say that
Kennedy is a super screamer. Since the
day we brought her home from the hospital, she will scream until she’s beat red
in the face, and she won’t stop until the car stops. True story. Some babies zonk out as soon as the car hits
11 miles-per-hour. Not my daughter. Nope. She
screams. She has gotten better over the
last few months, but she still has many of these car tantrums – and it sucks. There’s no other word to describe it. We live 30 minutes away from everything – I do
mean everything. Ok, so we have a hillbilly
grocery store just down the road, but to even get to a decent grocery store or
to do anything besides be at home, it’s a 30 minute drive. It’s not so much fun when your baby is
hollerin’ bloody murder directly behind your seat for 30 straight minutes. Sure, we’ve tried stopping the car to put the pacifier
back in, or to try to feed her, or to give her a snack, to hold her, etc. etc.
(we’ve tried it all). Nothing stops her
from crying when she gets on that kick. She
simply has to mellow herself out.
Anyway, back on topic: Brandon
handed me the keys to go to my happy place, but then as soon as the key hit
ignition, Kennedy turned on the tantrum. It’s these particular moments that will take
time for me to master finding the beauty around me by sitting in the seat of
self. These moments that, when they
happen only once is no big deal, but when they occur regularly they tend to
really ware on you; these moments when you just want the crappy moment to pass. However, as I drove with my baby screaming
behind me, I noticed my 3-year-old gazing out the window. I began to wonder what she was looking at. Children see the world so much more vividly than
adults. Whitney manages to see the
teeniest, tiniest objects anywhere we are. Brandon and I will look incredulously at each
other and, without saying a word to one another, know that the other is
thinking, “How the hell did she see that?” Whitney was simply looking at the beauty as it
passed outside her window. She went to
her innocent, happy little 3-year-old place regardless of her sister’s temperament.
Whitney teaches me so much about the
world, and on this day, my last day of the weekly challenge, I remembered that
I don’t have to let my good mood be affected by someone else’s bad mood. It’s hard to do when you have kids. I mean c’mon. Mamas want their babies to be happy and when
they’re not happy, mama ‘aint happy. But
I think it’s ok to find unconditional happiness even when I know my baby is
unhappy. I don’t know. Maybe that’s an idea for Challenge 2…
The weekly challenge has come to a
close, and I am thrilled that I saw it through. Even with today’s post a few days late, I still
did my very best to find the unconditional happiness – and I plan to continue
the journey and see where it takes me.
By the way, the party on Sunday was
a success. Miss Kennedy was the belle of
the ball, and I think everyone enjoyed themselves. But, I will not be hosting another birthday
party at our home for a long while – too
much work to get the house “company clean”…
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