Unbelievably, I awoke this morning to bright sunshine void of every ugly miserable cloud that patronized us over the last several days. I knew that today was going to be good -- and it was. I didn't drive anywhere today, therefore, I couldn't use it as my trigger into remembering to breathe and live in the moment. I had to force myself to remember, and it actually came very easily. With every chore, cry and uncontrollable bouts of laughter that happened today, I lived in the moment and it was a beautiful, happy day.
Brandon has staff duty this evening which means that he works all through the night and we don't see him for 36-hours straight. This is common and we don't even blink an eye when he gets called to do it every so often. In fact, with all the other times the army pulls him away from us, this is small fries compared to, say, a year long deployment. Have your husband deploy to "the deadliest place on Earth" for a year and your perspective of the world and those in it will undoubtedly forever change. Anyhow, when he makes the dreaded announcement that he has staff duty I cringe and brace myself for my straight 36-hour stint of just me and our two little girls. Of course I love my girls something fierce, and of course I love my precious time with them at home while they're young, but that's not say that sometimes a mama needs a break. Sometimes I need to get creative to keep from feeling like the walls are closing in.
We had such a great time tonight. At 3pm I ran into Kennedy's bedroom to grab her up from her daily nap and at 3:01pm I officially proclaimed that tonight was Mommy and Daughter day -- daddy had to work through the night. With a bag (or 2) of freshly popped popcorn, we settled onto blanket covered floors to watch Lady and the Tramp, Alice in Wonderland, and finally The Lion King. Yes, we had Disney bursting from our ears as we played and sang. We giggled over pizza and finally indulged over mounds of chocolate drizzled vanilla ice cream. Not once did I say to myself, "I'll be happy once the girls go to bed and I can finally relax." or "I'll be happier when Brandon gets home and I can finally shower." Nope, nada. I didn't condition my happiness today. I lived in the moment and soaked in every giggle, waddle, and smile I could out of today even amongst the cries, screams, and shoves.
This is my life in the army and I'm working on making it work for me. On to Day Three...